Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion. 'If you want your
breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds'.
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this take?' I asked.
'They will grow larger over a period of years, my husband replies.
I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'
Without missing a beat he says, ' Worked for your butt, didn't it?'
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy he may even walk again. Though he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
Stupid, stupid man.
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