The Pregnant Turkey

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.   Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. 

She told my sister that she needed something from the store. 

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. 

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. 

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, 'Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!' At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Pink Envelope

One Sunday, while counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate.

This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.  'Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate, he stated.

'Why yes,' she replied, 'every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church.'

The pastor replied, 'That's wonderful, how much does he send you?'

The old lady said, '$10,000 a week.'

The pastor was amazed. 'Your son is very successful;

what does he do for a living?'

'He is a veterinarian,' she answered.

'That is an honorable profession,' the pastor said.  Where does he practice?'

The old lady said proudly, 'In Nevada . He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno.