THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER..............

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so,  he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion.  'If you want your
breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds'.

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.   'How long will this take?' I asked.

'They will grow larger over a period of years, my husband replies.

I stopped.  'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'
 
Without missing a beat he says, ' Worked for your butt, didn't it?'

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy he may even walk again.   Though he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
 
Stupid, stupid man. 

Thanksgiving Turkey

Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping along the forest road when she sees the big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. "My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."

The wolf jumps up and runs away.

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. "My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."

Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.

About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. "My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."

With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!"